Haha I don't know, I was going to google search "man alive" because I just said it about my situation, and that's what we came up with. Heehee.
Anywho, this will have to be short, or shortish at least, and i'm not correcting anything i do wrong or stuff coz man alive, i think i'm a bit screwed here.
Must finish this gosh darn psych paper!!! Then as soon as that's done its studystudystudy for the psych exam (prolly for only like a little bit coz i need to get up early for the psych exam. fml psych, i love you, why would you betray me so??)
I was pretty good today. i'm co-in-charge of the finals pancake dinner my church hosts every semester so i had a cpl. but the lower-cal ones and no syrup or butter. and other than that i had a little chinese but it wasnt real chinese and i didn't eat all of it. looking at their website i'd say im still wellllll under 900 today. mm, ok approaching but under. and i have like nothing to eat here so i cant do much damage (oooo, a single roma tomato!) so unless i go out of my way to fuck myself (which i really reallllly don't have time for) then im in the clear for tonight.
not eating tomorrow, i have a double date with my college bestie n her bf. we bought matching new dresses for it! except hers is grayish and my is creamish. here i'll devote a few mins to finding pix! wow ok they have a really crappy site, but i dont see it anywhere. bah sorry.
anyway going to take a laxie to hopefully help thin me out a tiny bit (get this junk outta me!) before then, but i'll really have to work to time it perfectly so that the 6-12ish hrs after dsnt fall either on the exam or the date festivities. meh i'll figure it out later. but not too much later!! actually, this mite not even wrk coz i'd hafta take it at like 4am and considering my exam is at 7.45...hm. dunno dunno dunno.
y'all cannot comprehend the amount of coffee that has passed my lips in the last several days. i mean...incredible amounts.
k wellz...i think that's all i got to say for now. here's some nerd thinspo to help with all the studying! or, at least, to help me i guess lol. ok jk coz i just don't have time for it, sorry to lead you all on!! i promise you all many sexy nerdy thinspo pix in the nearish future!!!
k bye!!!
Bones are beautiful <3
Saturday, May 7
Thursday, May 5
Oh Save Me From My Ditzy Self
So I've been going nuts over this paper for psych, as in, omg-it's-due-today-and-I-haven't-started-and-I'm-not-even-sure-it's-related-to-what-I'm-supposed-to-be-talking-about-stressstressstresssss! (It's really hard to type with hyphens instead of spaces.) But I've just found out it's all for naught, the paper is actually due Sunday. Sure, extremely early Sunday morning, but still. This is excellent news, because I've just found another study I can include in my discussion that will perfectly link my original article-study-thing to the topic I was actually supposed to be talking about.
Unfortuneately, STRESS still happened. And you know what that means...
So for finals week (actually that's next week, but I still had one exam this week and also this paper I thought was due today), I decided not to devote TOO much time/energy to counting because I need to mega-concentrate here. The last few weeks I've been obsessing with what an eff-up I am, instead of studying and keeping up with school work like I should've been. Anyway, the lethal combination of "ok I'll let myself relax a bit for this week" + STRESS led to...just an awful amount of cals. Really, really awful.
I blame my mouth. My mind and stomach sure as HELL don't want it, but my mouth is just dying for the taste and texture. Have any of you ever eaten a super-significant amount, then had your boyfriend come over and you unexpectedly end up in bed having sex? Ultra-uncomfortable! I do not recommend!! =[
I wasn't planning to weigh-in till Sunday or so, but of course I did today anyway (scales are SO addicting). Ugh, I know alot of it was cracker-and-junk weight, but still...that's nearly the highest I've been since dating Dylan. I don't know how can want to sex with me. And since today was almost as bad (well ok, exaggeration, like 1/2 as bad), the weight's probably not gonna go down tomorrow either. Not that I'm going to weigh though. (I will.)
The soonest I can get into a doctor, I want to talk to them about the possibility of me having ADD. (Or, I guess that doesn't exist now, it's ADHD with a special sub-name that means you're not hyper.) I had seven cups of coffee plus a caffeine [diet] pill in the space of a few hours to help me focus on the psych paper. And it's seriously something I'm really interested in, even. But, on the bright side, maybe I can get a prescription for Adderall!! :)
Tomorrow should be an easy-peasy day though, I can go without eating (except celery and green bell pepper) until 6.30, when I have a dinner meeting thing. At least I know where it's at, so I can hopefully find the nutrition stuff online before I go. Meh, a Mexican place, wish me luck...
So, I was feeling like this post was relatively short and stuff, but then I scrolled back through and realized, not so much. So I'll end it here I guess! I think I maybe was going to say something else but I can't remember. Maybe I even said it already. So much for "extra cals = extra brain power". Dummy. Well, that just means I don't really even need to eat specially for my final exams, right? :) Obvz.
Ah I'm so excited for summer and here's some thinspo!!!! (I think that's the 1/2 gallon of coffee kicking in, teehee)
hm, I've come up with a bit of a random assortment today, I just added whatever struck my fancy =]
Stay strong for summer, we're almost there!!! :D
Bones are beautiful <3
Unfortuneately, STRESS still happened. And you know what that means...
So for finals week (actually that's next week, but I still had one exam this week and also this paper I thought was due today), I decided not to devote TOO much time/energy to counting because I need to mega-concentrate here. The last few weeks I've been obsessing with what an eff-up I am, instead of studying and keeping up with school work like I should've been. Anyway, the lethal combination of "ok I'll let myself relax a bit for this week" + STRESS led to...just an awful amount of cals. Really, really awful.
I blame my mouth. My mind and stomach sure as HELL don't want it, but my mouth is just dying for the taste and texture. Have any of you ever eaten a super-significant amount, then had your boyfriend come over and you unexpectedly end up in bed having sex? Ultra-uncomfortable! I do not recommend!! =[
I wasn't planning to weigh-in till Sunday or so, but of course I did today anyway (scales are SO addicting). Ugh, I know alot of it was cracker-and-junk weight, but still...that's nearly the highest I've been since dating Dylan. I don't know how can want to sex with me. And since today was almost as bad (well ok, exaggeration, like 1/2 as bad), the weight's probably not gonna go down tomorrow either. Not that I'm going to weigh though. (I will.)
The soonest I can get into a doctor, I want to talk to them about the possibility of me having ADD. (Or, I guess that doesn't exist now, it's ADHD with a special sub-name that means you're not hyper.) I had seven cups of coffee plus a caffeine [diet] pill in the space of a few hours to help me focus on the psych paper. And it's seriously something I'm really interested in, even. But, on the bright side, maybe I can get a prescription for Adderall!! :)
Tomorrow should be an easy-peasy day though, I can go without eating (except celery and green bell pepper) until 6.30, when I have a dinner meeting thing. At least I know where it's at, so I can hopefully find the nutrition stuff online before I go. Meh, a Mexican place, wish me luck...
So, I was feeling like this post was relatively short and stuff, but then I scrolled back through and realized, not so much. So I'll end it here I guess! I think I maybe was going to say something else but I can't remember. Maybe I even said it already. So much for "extra cals = extra brain power". Dummy. Well, that just means I don't really even need to eat specially for my final exams, right? :) Obvz.
Ah I'm so excited for summer and here's some thinspo!!!! (I think that's the 1/2 gallon of coffee kicking in, teehee)
hm, I've come up with a bit of a random assortment today, I just added whatever struck my fancy =]
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| I super-admire her. Not only coz she's beautiful, but also coz she's on an escalator. I'm deathly afraid of escalators. Or, at least, getting on and off them. The ride is actually quite fun. |
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| Ahh I want to be this hott for Dylan!! |
 |
| This is a Russian calendar. Idk, just thought it was cool. |
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| She's wearing a sparkly silver bra. Just...wow. I want to be her this summer. |
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| In my thinspo folder, I called this one "taking notes". Like school. I should focus more. |
Bones are beautiful <3
Wednesday, May 4
Every Morning
Sorry, I'm on a Basshunter kick atm, and this song is just soooooooo sweet!!!!! (except the ending. the ending is just WTF?!) Anyway, you can dance and brush your teeth to it at the same time (not that I'd know from experience or anything...):
AWWWWW!!! :)
Thank you to Aye Ell and Skinny_legs for your advice. It was super appreciated! If anyone else has any spare advice they'd like to send my way, lol please don't hesitate!
I haven't been counting, but as noted yesterday, I was still losing. Because I purposefully didn't weigh-in today even though I had the opportunity to, I decided to count loosely. I think that was my big mistake, because it was really just awful today. I stopped counting. I was at 420ish around 5pm, which was way less than what I've been doing lately so even though that sounds high, it was alright. Until then.
So I just went back and kind of went over what I all ate, I thought for sure I was up around 4000 but it turns out those crackers (that I ....kind of ate the whole box of...) were alot less than I originally thought, and also I guess I was just blowing things out of proportion based on how full I was feeling. So I'm pretty sure I at least kept it under 2000 today. I know that's quite a terrible number anyway, but since I've been eating lately my metabolism's totally kickass right now. (My one saving grace...) (hopefully...)
Again, no workout, but there won't be an official one of those for several days yet due to this psych paper and also preparing for finals (ahhhhhhhhh!!!), but I've been super-power-walking tons and fitting in a flash-dancejam whenever/wherever I can so hopefully keeping things in check that way at least. One week from today (well, it's just after midnight so I suppose yesterday) I'm leaving college and going back home!!
Speaking of summer, I got back my old job that I had to quit when I left for school! Haven't heard back from the college I'm transferring to for a summer class, but hopefully that'll work out soon. Also, I have a job interview with my new committee director for a possible job next school year!! It would be amazing if I could land it, so I've got all my fingers, toes, and eyes crossed for that one! 8)
Alright, I'm yawning my face off, so it's thinspo and hit the sack for me! Btw everyone, I'm finally reaching the lights at the ends of the hypothetical tunnels. As in, I'm finally catching up on your blogs! If I haven't commented yet, it's because I haven't reached your most recent one yet. But I'll be there soon, and getting this psych paper out of the way will def help.
K..theme of thinspo...I don't know why but I'm going to go with tattoo thinspo today. I can't wait to get my next one, but I'm not even sure yet what it will be. It needs to be something meaningful, I'm not one to just get it coz it's "aww cute!!" Not that there's anything wrong with that, just not for me, and also my way of making my decision easier because I just can't make decisions anyway lol. I'm 90% positive it will be food-related though, as that was definitely a factor of this frosh year of college, especially 2nd semester. Okay thinspo for realz!!
[Hm so I think my cool pic-placement pattern is messed up, idk why, but enjoy anyway! I have SO MANY tattoo thinspo pix om my comp haha.]
Bones are beautiful <3
AWWWWW!!! :)
Thank you to Aye Ell and Skinny_legs for your advice. It was super appreciated! If anyone else has any spare advice they'd like to send my way, lol please don't hesitate!
I haven't been counting, but as noted yesterday, I was still losing. Because I purposefully didn't weigh-in today even though I had the opportunity to, I decided to count loosely. I think that was my big mistake, because it was really just awful today. I stopped counting. I was at 420ish around 5pm, which was way less than what I've been doing lately so even though that sounds high, it was alright. Until then.
So I just went back and kind of went over what I all ate, I thought for sure I was up around 4000 but it turns out those crackers (that I ....kind of ate the whole box of...) were alot less than I originally thought, and also I guess I was just blowing things out of proportion based on how full I was feeling. So I'm pretty sure I at least kept it under 2000 today. I know that's quite a terrible number anyway, but since I've been eating lately my metabolism's totally kickass right now. (My one saving grace...) (hopefully...)
Again, no workout, but there won't be an official one of those for several days yet due to this psych paper and also preparing for finals (ahhhhhhhhh!!!), but I've been super-power-walking tons and fitting in a flash-dancejam whenever/wherever I can so hopefully keeping things in check that way at least. One week from today (well, it's just after midnight so I suppose yesterday) I'm leaving college and going back home!!
Speaking of summer, I got back my old job that I had to quit when I left for school! Haven't heard back from the college I'm transferring to for a summer class, but hopefully that'll work out soon. Also, I have a job interview with my new committee director for a possible job next school year!! It would be amazing if I could land it, so I've got all my fingers, toes, and eyes crossed for that one! 8)
Alright, I'm yawning my face off, so it's thinspo and hit the sack for me! Btw everyone, I'm finally reaching the lights at the ends of the hypothetical tunnels. As in, I'm finally catching up on your blogs! If I haven't commented yet, it's because I haven't reached your most recent one yet. But I'll be there soon, and getting this psych paper out of the way will def help.
K..theme of thinspo...I don't know why but I'm going to go with tattoo thinspo today. I can't wait to get my next one, but I'm not even sure yet what it will be. It needs to be something meaningful, I'm not one to just get it coz it's "aww cute!!" Not that there's anything wrong with that, just not for me, and also my way of making my decision easier because I just can't make decisions anyway lol. I'm 90% positive it will be food-related though, as that was definitely a factor of this frosh year of college, especially 2nd semester. Okay thinspo for realz!!
[Hm so I think my cool pic-placement pattern is messed up, idk why, but enjoy anyway! I have SO MANY tattoo thinspo pix om my comp haha.]
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| teehee :) |
 |
| so, not exactly thinspo, but still pretty |
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| Life is about... |
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| so it's not a girl tattoo but still. I want Dylan to be able to do this... |
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| What an interesting place for a tatt, I may consider it... |
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| God I love this one, wish I could have thighs like that so I could get a tatt like that... |
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| haha so fun :) |
Bones are beautiful <3
Monday, May 2
She's a Killer Queen
So, I guess I'm 3 pounds down from Friday morning, by accident. That "by accident" would include getting swasted on Mike's hard black cherry lemonade (sugarsugarsugar), eating a double-scoop dish of ice cream (I wanted the caffeinated one, but it doesn't taste as good as the one that actually tastes like coffee...I know, wtf, why am I even eating ice cream? I'm even lactose intolerant for Pete's sake!!), and a giant fancy Italian dinner at the formal. So...how the...?
The Cold Hard Facts of the weekend:
Saturday: Since I got almost ***NO SLEEP*** on Friday night (ASO to my roomate, her cousin, and her cousin's friend. You guys are real champs, thanks. :/ ), I was kind of super-tired while waiting for my wave to start the 8k on Saturday morning. As in, I was kind of yawning/falling asleep/leaning on Dylan for support. But I was so invigorated afterwards! I wanted to sprint like the last 1/2-mile but I think Dylan might have actually died. Haha I'm surprised he's still going out with me as it is. :-P Our time was eh but we still beat my goal for us! (Goal was 50 min, I crossed at 49.01).
Then I had to walk all over God's creation, ugh miles and miles. My feet were super-sore because I ended up running in my old painful shoes. Cue the afore-mentioned ice cream on the way home. (Ahh I'm living just down the street next year, so I'm going to be passing the same ice cream place everyday again, I need to get over that temptation NOW!!) Fast-forward to walking to Dylan's frat formal.
(Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm breaking a blogging [or just general internet] rule here, but if you Americans haven't figured it out already, I live in Madison.) It was the Mifflin street block party this weekend, but everyone everywhere gets superduper Mario SA-MASHED bros. As in, they started pre-gaming for the Saturday city-wide party early Friday morning. Anyway, I [stupidly] chose to walk down one of the drunker streets to get to the formal. I got so many compliments on my body though! Thin, pretty, and sexy being among them. :) But there was one...it made me want to turn around and hide at home forever.
"Hey girl, your ass is fat!" Random girl in group passing me: "Who, me?" Answer: "no, that girl in the white sweater walking by herself, over there, hey you, look at me, I said fucking look at me you fucking fatass!!" me in head: ah fuck shit fuck my life can't be in public go home go home crycrycry fuck i hate me-" [continues throughout the weekend] I'm glad I kept walking though, I was tied for skinniest girl there, then after the mungo Italian dinner (skipping that, the only highlight anyone needs to know is that I tried a teensy bite of the meatball for Dylan, first meat in like almost 3 months, dreaded it so much that it tasted like...idk something sick in my mouth...) we went back to his frat and he bought me the afore-mentioned Mike's, which I drank all of and was soooo drunk, but after I was already barely able to stand, my pong abilities increased tenfold. No joke.
Then...oh then. I... I... Okay, this is equal parts horrible and elation for me to admit but...I had sex with Dylan. It actually hurt so bad. But anyway, it was his first time and my first real time so... wow. I guess that's all I really want to say about it now.
Then on Sunday: I don't remember what I ate, it was mostly celery, salad, and green bell pepp I think. A little dressing on the salad. Went bowling and attended an amazing choral concert called Elijah by Felix Mendolsson (sp?) and I highly highly recommend it if it's ever performed in your area. Super cool. Then I went to Dylan's and talked over this sex thing with him (I'm in such a spiritual and moral dilemma over it; I've chosen to ignore it for now, which may tear me to pieces, but whatevs. For now.) and then we did it again.
Then I weighed in this morning and was down the 3 afore-mentioned pounds, huh.
This part may be TMI, but I'm looking for some advice. I feel like I'm not utilizing the full calorie-burning potential of sex. How can I? I mean, I'm not comfortable being on top yet, which I feel like would burn more...I don't know, I think I'm doing what I can, but then again, I'm not thinking like someone who's familiar with sex, so...hm.
I may have effed-up a little bit today, and by that I mean alot bit, but this whole "not being able to weigh-in for several days" was quite cathartic so before I even screwed up I had decided not to weigh-in tomorrow. It wasn't a binge, as I didn't really feel out-of-control at all. But...there was alot of calorie consumption going on. So we'll see!! Ahh!!
Meh, tearful side note: I've lost 2 followers. Sadsadsad. Probably because I'm not commenting like I should be! Also because my life is probably completely boring and of no interest to anyone but me. But I'll keep on doing this blogging thing coz it helps me lose in the long run, at least. Sorry everyone...I'm trying to be more faithful to keeping up but I just feel a little social-blogfully crippled right now! :( I swear I'm working on it!!!
OMG just found these awesome videos. I don't know why I didn't see them before, but the world of "couples thinspo VIDEOS" has been opened to me!! love love love!!! <3
Okay this one is my fave because of the song, but it needs more couples lol:
Love and hugs and smiles, darlings <3 X :)
Bones are beautiful <3
The Cold Hard Facts of the weekend:
Saturday: Since I got almost ***NO SLEEP*** on Friday night (ASO to my roomate, her cousin, and her cousin's friend. You guys are real champs, thanks. :/ ), I was kind of super-tired while waiting for my wave to start the 8k on Saturday morning. As in, I was kind of yawning/falling asleep/leaning on Dylan for support. But I was so invigorated afterwards! I wanted to sprint like the last 1/2-mile but I think Dylan might have actually died. Haha I'm surprised he's still going out with me as it is. :-P Our time was eh but we still beat my goal for us! (Goal was 50 min, I crossed at 49.01).
Then I had to walk all over God's creation, ugh miles and miles. My feet were super-sore because I ended up running in my old painful shoes. Cue the afore-mentioned ice cream on the way home. (Ahh I'm living just down the street next year, so I'm going to be passing the same ice cream place everyday again, I need to get over that temptation NOW!!) Fast-forward to walking to Dylan's frat formal.
(Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm breaking a blogging [or just general internet] rule here, but if you Americans haven't figured it out already, I live in Madison.) It was the Mifflin street block party this weekend, but everyone everywhere gets superduper Mario SA-MASHED bros. As in, they started pre-gaming for the Saturday city-wide party early Friday morning. Anyway, I [stupidly] chose to walk down one of the drunker streets to get to the formal. I got so many compliments on my body though! Thin, pretty, and sexy being among them. :) But there was one...it made me want to turn around and hide at home forever.
"Hey girl, your ass is fat!" Random girl in group passing me: "Who, me?" Answer: "no, that girl in the white sweater walking by herself, over there, hey you, look at me, I said fucking look at me you fucking fatass!!" me in head: ah fuck shit fuck my life can't be in public go home go home crycrycry fuck i hate me-" [continues throughout the weekend] I'm glad I kept walking though, I was tied for skinniest girl there, then after the mungo Italian dinner (skipping that, the only highlight anyone needs to know is that I tried a teensy bite of the meatball for Dylan, first meat in like almost 3 months, dreaded it so much that it tasted like...idk something sick in my mouth...) we went back to his frat and he bought me the afore-mentioned Mike's, which I drank all of and was soooo drunk, but after I was already barely able to stand, my pong abilities increased tenfold. No joke.
Then...oh then. I... I... Okay, this is equal parts horrible and elation for me to admit but...I had sex with Dylan. It actually hurt so bad. But anyway, it was his first time and my first real time so... wow. I guess that's all I really want to say about it now.
Then on Sunday: I don't remember what I ate, it was mostly celery, salad, and green bell pepp I think. A little dressing on the salad. Went bowling and attended an amazing choral concert called Elijah by Felix Mendolsson (sp?) and I highly highly recommend it if it's ever performed in your area. Super cool. Then I went to Dylan's and talked over this sex thing with him (I'm in such a spiritual and moral dilemma over it; I've chosen to ignore it for now, which may tear me to pieces, but whatevs. For now.) and then we did it again.
Then I weighed in this morning and was down the 3 afore-mentioned pounds, huh.
This part may be TMI, but I'm looking for some advice. I feel like I'm not utilizing the full calorie-burning potential of sex. How can I? I mean, I'm not comfortable being on top yet, which I feel like would burn more...I don't know, I think I'm doing what I can, but then again, I'm not thinking like someone who's familiar with sex, so...hm.
I may have effed-up a little bit today, and by that I mean alot bit, but this whole "not being able to weigh-in for several days" was quite cathartic so before I even screwed up I had decided not to weigh-in tomorrow. It wasn't a binge, as I didn't really feel out-of-control at all. But...there was alot of calorie consumption going on. So we'll see!! Ahh!!
Meh, tearful side note: I've lost 2 followers. Sadsadsad. Probably because I'm not commenting like I should be! Also because my life is probably completely boring and of no interest to anyone but me. But I'll keep on doing this blogging thing coz it helps me lose in the long run, at least. Sorry everyone...I'm trying to be more faithful to keeping up but I just feel a little social-blogfully crippled right now! :( I swear I'm working on it!!!
OMG just found these awesome videos. I don't know why I didn't see them before, but the world of "couples thinspo VIDEOS" has been opened to me!! love love love!!! <3
Okay this one is my fave because of the song, but it needs more couples lol:
Also, I'm super-glad my roomie left, because somehow, researching for my honors psych seminar paper led to watching Basshunter on Youtube and I'm dancing in my room now. Enjoy this kind-of-thinspo/dance-arama mix lovies! [I have to admit, DotA or Boten Anna are my faves, but no thinspo there. Unless you're watching the new version of DotA lolz.]
Okay those look weird, so hopefully they work...?
Love and hugs and smiles, darlings <3 X :)
Bones are beautiful <3
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