...And Again

I'm having a tad bit of a mental breakdown right now (thank goodness no binging involved!!) but it's making me feel a little better being on here and remembering that we all share the struggle. Also, amazing-fantastic-super-awesome weight update at the end, if you can make it that far lol!

Quickest run-down possible: So, I asked Dylan what he thought of me and if he wanted us to see each other more, and he said things like I'm cute and nice and etc. (awwww, that sweet boy!) and yes, he'd love to spend more time together. (Oh, my heartstrings...) I decided to walk him home for once and we ended up watching a movie and I ended up sleeping on his futon. :) ...Or "sleeping". I'm a very light sleeper and I was hungry and dehydrated and in a new place and argh just everything, so I was awake nearly the ENTIRE night. But I had to get up to leave for class this morning and he was so sweet about it, even though he didn't need to get up yet and we KISSED! :) But of course I made it awkward after (I'm pretty sure), gawwwwwd I hate myself sometimes.

Anyways, from lack of sleep and I don't know, there had to be something else, I was going from completely PO'd to euphoric and back again, all over the board today. It was a completely miserable day! But even though I wanted to eateateat so bad just like, 1/2 hour ago, some coffee and gum have fixed me up for now. Today I've had:

1/2 serving of OJ, 55 cals
1/4 of leftover Boca burger, 65 cals
1/2 serving of mini rice cakes, 55 cals

for a grand total of 175 so far.

:)

But, my dad is coming down to pick me up and take me home tonight, and he wants to eat a late dinner at Cracker Barrel. :( Argh!! Used to be my favorite, so I'll have to eat...everything is deep-friend and chock-full of cals-cals-cals-cals-cals!! Must look up their web site and figure out my order before-hand...I'm not guaranting that I'll be able to stay under 500 today tho. Damn it, I hope I don't lose the momentum I've been building this last week!!

And tomorrow's agenda will be even worse. It's my dad's b-day dinner. Here's a baseline portrait to start off with: last Saturday, he said he went with his girlfriend to KFC for dinn, THEN to DQ for dessert!! Omfg!! So, now try to imagine a "special birthday dinner". Noooooot looking forward to that...will probably be able to avoid cals during the day for the most part though. Depends on my mom, who uses me being home as an excuse to stuff her horrible face, especially since my little bro will be at my dad's this weekend. My fam is soooo disgusting. :(

Sunday I'll have to eat both brekkie and lunch, as I'll be under the watchful eye of both my mom and gramma. And my friends expect me to go to dinner with them as well...ahhhhh hellllllp!!

One of the "euphoric" moments today tho was a side-walk sale I passed downtown. Usually they're pretty crappy excuses for sales, but they actually had some nice stuff on the rack for a darn good price today. I ended up getting a reaaaally cute dressy top and the cutest jumper ever! I've never had a jumper before, but I'm wearing it now for encouragement about the weekend. Def shows off my waist, which is fine, but I have sooooo much weight to lose on my legs before I can wear it this summer. Omg I effing love it tho. Also bought a dress, which I was terrified of because it's quite slinky and I was afraid my tum would look mungo in it. But it was cute so I tried it on, and oh my, starry-eyed surprise, abso-fricking-lutely amazing!

Drumroll, please....when I weighed in yesterday morning I was...125.4!! Omg down like 4 something pounds!! Yesssssss!! This morning I was up by 0.2 pounds...but I ended up walking like 10 miles today so maybe that'll help for tomorrow? Oh wait, won't be able to weigh myself till Monday. [Cue sudden inner tension.] Shit. :(

Okay well, I'll try to update this weekend, but if I don't, wish  me luck and know that I'm thinking of you all!! Love and bones to all you beauties!! <3