What Does He Know, Anyway?!

My Nutritional Science prof wrote his own textbook. It's really awful, full of mistakes. Anyway, in it, he bashes Twiggy several times. I had no idea who Twiggy was, apparently the 1st supermodel ever, who sparked a dramatic increase in ED rates. I decided to look her up. I actually remembered to just now, and myohmy she's pretty. I went through and saved all my fave pix of her, to be sprinkled ramdomly through this post. It's gonna be another looooong entry, loves.

This is what the text had to say about her, at least in one of the mentionings: "The second such blip [in the rise of ED's] was in the time of "Twiggy", the first of the supermodels, ultra-thin but apparently very popular, in the 1960's. Though, realy, horrifically thin, Twiggy sparked a movement toward emaciation that we are still suffering from today." Well, I don't think she's horrific. She's quite nice, actually.

Anyways, down to business.

Had somewhere between 15-20 shots last night. I think. May have been more. Irish cream whiskey is so good though...so are Smirnoff Ices...well, cheap vodka's not that bad once you're drunk enough, either...

But that gives me 3 nights in a row of drinking, so when I snuck the scale into the bathroom this morning while Dylan slept, it told me

122.2

which is another slight gain. Damn it all. But at least I don't binge drink during the week, haha. Not usually.

The problem last night came after my bestie left. (By the way, was totally thinner than her again, and looked better in my skirt [methinks]. The status quo is back and better than ever.) This is the same bestie that was in the threesome, along with her fiancee, where I lost my v-card. Dylan was under the impression that I was still a virgin, which was happy for him because he is too and he wants to wait till marriage. Which is awesome, I do too. Except it's too late for me now...anyways, because I was feeling extremely guilty about all this (and because I was drunk off my effing ass) I ended up blurting out the truth to Dylan. I don't remember exactly how, and I don't remember how it ended up or how he reacted, I just know I was crying really hard and felt horrible, like I wanted to stab my soul or something. So...I'm not sure how things will be going with that now. This morning he said it was ok, but...oh, I just don't know and now I'm panicking a bit inside. Argh.

This morning I was going to have a banana on the way to class, but then I found my phone (I was using it last night, and I'm not sure how it got where it was) and lo and behold! I have a text from the lovely Miss Olivia Lee inviting me to join the group liquid fast! Zette is in on it, as well. It was just what I needed today. I haven't checked out Zette's yet, but I know that Olivia Lee has some pretty good rules, if you're looking for some for your own liquid fast. Here's mine:

1. No solids. Period.
2. A single serving of applesauce is allowed if absolutely, ABSOLUTELY needed.
3. Tea, water, flavored water, juice (which I don't really drink), and 1 hot cocoa are the staples.
4. No official cal limit, just because it's hard to know ahead of time with liquid cals. But the usual under-500 goal stays in place.

That's all I got for that. My intake today so far is

lots of water
a vitamin water - 125
the hot cocoa - 130

total: 255

Hm. That seems kind of high for a liquid fasting day. Normally I drink the Vitamin Water Zeros, but my mom bought me a bunch of regular ones so I'm trying to use them up.

I'm really beginning to hate her buying me foodstuffs. For example, she asked if I wanted Vitamin Waters, and I said yes, but only the Zeros, because the regulars are "too sweet". Apparently she decided to screw that idea. It's not the first time, either. She always sends me back to school with hot chocolate mix. I tell her every time, "Get the sugar-free stuff, the regular stuff is too sweet!" So every time, she buys me "extra-special-super-gourmet-we've-added-five-pounds-of-sugar-to-this" hot choco mix. Grrr. Also, I don't really care for yogurt too much, but I do eat the Activia Light. I tell her to get the Light because the regular "kind of leaves a film in your mouth" (it doesn't, but it DOES have like 100 more cals), so...I have a 4-pack of regular Activia in my fridge that I might as well throw out now coz I won't eat it before it goes bad. Yargh I hate wasting food but if she would only just buy me what I WANT!

I have to watch out for that woman. I'm not actually very fond of her, but she has the power to make my life a living hell, so I can't piss her off, or have her become suspicious of my eating habits. When I got to my low weight, I wasn't even that skinny or anything, but she "voiced her concerns" to me about how I've lost so much weight and it's so noticeable and I need to be careful and blah blah blah. Like she knows. She's morbidly obese. She had the lap-band surgery and still can't lose weight becoz she won't follow the diet and she knows all the little ways to cheat around it and such. Horrible. Those are the kind of genetics I'm insuring myself against by losing weight now.

Ugh, that hot choco made me feel bloated.

Now I'm kind of just stalling, trying to fit more pix in by the text so there's not quite so many in the list at the bottom.

OH! I meant to tell you about tomorrow's and Wednesday's game plan. Tomorrow, one of my friends who just got accepted at my college is visiting. I'm going to show her all around campus and such, but she also wants to eat at a dorm dining hall to see what it's like. Dining hall food is actually tasty, which is fine for other people, but I have no clue what I'm going to need to eat tomorrow with her. (So much for continuing this fast for two days). Wish me luck on that.

On Wednesday, my aunt and uncle from Arizona are visiting. They're vegetarian, so we're going out to a vegetarian restaurant with my cousin who also goes to this college. I'm excited to catch up with everyone and eat a healthy meal, but hopefully I don't have to eat too much. I feel like I won't need to though.

Aaaand, last but not least, HUGE shout-out to Olivia Lee for her awesome Chinese-type recipe! It's in her comment on my last post, but here it is again:

I love this outfit!

1.Boil 1/2 cup chicken broth (maybe I can sub veggie broth?)
Add 1/4 cup brown rice

2.Sautee: 1 egg white (I might leave that out because of my egg probs),
1 Tbsp green onion,
2 Tbsp peas,
2 Tbsp chopped carrots

3. Mix both of above when done, and add 1 Tsp soy sauce

Total: 125

Not the most conventional way to jot down a recipe, but I like lists better than paragraph form and I'm too lazy to fix it up right lol. Anyway, I love Chinese and I crave it always, so this will def help with that! Thanks love!!

Okay, okay, this post is quite more than long enough, so here's the rest of my fave Twiggy pix for y'all:

Haha, she looks kind of hippy-dippy, I love it

She's so fun!!

This reminds me of the book Wintergirls.

I love her hair, I want it lol

Alright I'm finally done, congrats if you made it this far! Love you all, stay skinny, bones are beautiful <3

Oh God, wait one more, how could I forget, hello to new followers Skylar and M!!!

Okay now I'm really done. :)