4.4

That's how much I gained from last week's slip-up.

I weigh 126.3.

I must be back down 4.4 pounds to 121.9 before the "abstinance rule" (see post from April 3, "Flash Judgement") no longer applies. (Actually I wrote that post before going to bed the night before, so technically it's not from yesterday, exactly. Just so you know.) (I don't know why that bugged me.)

Thanks to *Harley at *fluttering hearts, I'm now involved in another, more competitive goal. If y'all are feeling up to the challenge, I super-suggest you try this! Skinny_el at PrettyProSlim has put on an April challenge and everyone's invited. I'm doing it. :)

Something I though was ultra-interesting on her site was the colors for bracelets. I'm going to post those (c&p from her site), along with the medical definitions of the ED's (straight from the nutritional textbook), just because I like to be thorough.

Red: Anorexia
Purple: Bulimia
Pink: EDnos (Eating Disorder not otherwise specified)
Blue: Depression
Orange/Black: SI (self injurer)
Green: Fasting at that time
Yellow: Suicidal
Turquoise: Overweight/Obese
Teal: Anxiety disorder/OCD/Panic disorder

if you add 1 white bead to a bracelet is means you are TRYING to recover from that illness.
if you have half white and half the illness color in the bracelet it means you’re IN recovery.

ANOREXIA NERVOSA: Weight loss leading to maintenance of body weight less than 85% of that expected; loss of 25% of previous body weight; amenorrhea in post-menarchal females (loss of periods before menopause). [Ed.: It should be noted that 1, all these criteria must be met for an official diagnosis, and 2, there are 2 types of Ana, both restricting type and purging type. <--Different than Mia!]

Quick side definition of BINGING, medically speaking: 1, eating an abnormally large amount (larger than any normal person would eat) in 2, a discrete period of time (usually defined as about 2 hours); and 3, having a sense of lack of control during the episode. [Ed.: All criteria must be met.]

BULIMIA NERVOSA: Recurrent episodes of binge eating followed by inappropriate compensatory behaviors [meaning purging, laxies, fasting, mega exercise], which occur on average, at least 2x per week for 3 months. [Can be either purging or non-purging type!]

Oooookay, now I just feel like I'm giving you-all a boring lecture, but I'm still throwing in EDnos in there for good measure, because that is what many of us here (including myself) actually are:

EATING DISORDER NOT OTHERWISE SPECIFIED: [Can you imagine actually being diagnosed with a disorder named that?] Includes disorders of eating that do not meet the criteria for any specific eating disorder.
1. For females, all of the criteria for Ana are met except that the individual has regular menses [periods].
2. All the criteria are met for Ana except that, despite significant weight loss, the individual's current weight is in the normal range [i.e., if they started off overweight, or just haven't quite reached underweight just yet].
3. All of the criteria for Mia are met except that the binge eating and inappropriate compensatory mechanisms occur at a frequency of less than 2x per week or for duration of less than 3 months.
4. The regular use of inappropriate compensatory measures by an individual of normal body weight after eating small amounts of food.
5. Repeatedly chewing and spitting out, but not swallowing, large amounts of food.

Actually, according to these guidelines, I'm more Mia than EDnos...hm...oh well, people swing back and forth on the spectrum all the time. And of course, when I reach my UGW, I would be diagnosed as Ana (I lost my period around 114 or so last time) even though I was hardly thin when I was near it at my LW. So figure that one out, medical society.

Okay sorry for that randomness, I get so wrapped up in this stuff! My point was, I want to make a bracelet. And actually, now I don't know what color to make it! I've been Mia and EDnos, and I was almost Ana at one point (just a few more pounds and I would've hit it!). I SI, but that comes and goes in bouts, usually along with my depression, which I've suffered from for yearsssss. The fasting would be easy, just slip a green bead on...Buuut I don't want some rainbow bracelet that's too caught up in meaning to actually mean anything! Suggestions?

Alrite, enough of that random stuff spilling out of my brain!! 1st, mega hello to my 2 newest followers (I can actually tell who you are!), anna_rose_grace and Thin_Envy! Just a heads-up for anyone I'm not already following: it's probably because your blog is private. I'd love to follow y'all but if it's private go ahead and invite me!

Next order of bidnezz: intaaaaaaake. Also known as FML. Coz I'm really going for the bad stuff today. Still not hitting that cap of 800 yet, but already higher than yesterday. Too embarrassed to post exactly what I ate, but it's added up to

693

already. (There's a shit-ton of rice cakes in that total...) Also, going to workout hard-core after this post. That means yayyayyay for burnin' it up, but also means I'll prolly have a little something when I get back home. I was thinking maybe a bananer.

Good God, you're probably all completely abso sick of all these words draining onto the theoretical page. I'll stop now while I'm ahead. Ish, ahead-ish. It's 7pm, gotta get going to the gym, (whoa, lots of g's in that), but maybe I'll just do some sort of unprecedented (for me) post of just thinspo later? To make up for lack of in this post and to help fight the after-gym hungries.

Okay okay I'm really done! Love you all!
Bones are beautiful <3